No narrative required. These quotes speak for themselves.
"Did you just poop out a sweater?!"
"Once I stole a cell phone from the cafeteria lady at (insert name of local middle school), and they be sending some nasty @$$ sh*t to each other."
"Did you realize the members of the Phoenix Coyotes are human traffickers? Actual human traffickers!" (No, he wasn't joking)
"Hey Ms. G, you guys look alike!" (Referring to a 5'2" African American man)
"No offense, but you kinda look like a hobo." (Yes, they were talking to me...and what is the obsession with hobos?)